Sunday Randomness

I'm really considering getting a tattoo on my wrist!

Papa Jones is in town! I am really learning a lot about him...

I'm not sure where I would be without God!

Why isn't it Columbus week I'm sure Christopher and 'em celebrated longer than a day when he made his discovery!

*singing like J-Hud* I aaaaaaam changing...(for the better of course)

That's all for now...

Restoration

I just had a nice long talk over Cuban food with my Daddy! I love him so much and I thank God everyday for the major changes He has made in my father. As I was listening to this man pour out his heart and emotions as freely as our waiter poured out water into our glasses, I just felt love. I came to the conclusion that God has the best sense of humor e.v.e.r. He ought to be a stand-up comedian. Just when I thought something was going one way He switches it to the opposite direction. Me: Okay cool this is going that way, God: Hahahahaha that's what she thinks! It is an honor and a privilege to serve such a humorous God and know that even when I am going through He has EVERYTHING in His control. He is truly the God of restoration and healing. I commit to willingly jump out of my comfort zone so I can see the true wonders and miracles of God. That's all for now...

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1...BLAST OFF!!!

10 Things I Wish I Could Say To 10 Different People

**I was 2 seconds from putting the people who I wanted to say this to, but I figured it would defeat the purpose...lol**
1. I'm not nice when I'm annoyed, so please don't annoy me.

2. I'm just waiting for you to ask because the answer is yes.

3. Your actions made me lose a lot of respect for you.

4. It's not too late for you to change.

5. The life you are living is taken you down a road that was not meant for you.

6. Stop trying to be someone you are not, your fakeness disgusts me.

7. I don't want your man because if I did he would be mine already. (Forgive me Lord)

8. Your dependence on everybody but yourself boils my blood.

9. You don't have to run anymore, we're your family and we love you no matter what.

10. Just give it up because it is not worth your salvation.

9 Things About Myself

1. I have no filter on my mouth, as soon as I think it out of my mouth it flows.

2. I connect with males better than I do females.

3. I hate relationships but want to get married.

4. I have the mindset of a 33 year old.

5. I have visions of things that always come to pass that same day or a couple days later.

6. I want to record a song in a professional studio.

7. I learn songs as soon as I hear them.

8. I consider my brother to be my father because he was there when my father wasn't.

9. If I have children I want all boys.

8 Ways To Win My Heart

1. Just be yourself (trying to be overly macho will have you seeing the back of my head as I walk away before you remember my face good)

2. Be able to sing me to sleep.

3. Be able to show some emotion (I have no problem with seeing a guy cry).

4. Treat your Mom and the females in you family like queens (that is a direct representation of how you will treat me).

5. Be truly rooted in God (nothing attracts me more than seeing a guy who is not afraid to give God some genuine praise).

6. Don't suffocate my personality with yours.

7. Be able to kiss so good my socks come off (even if I'm not wearing any).

8. Be an intellectual and thirst for knowledge constantly.

7 Things That Cross My Mind Often

1. Jesus when are you coming back?

2. Why am I such a loner?

3. I need to lose some weight.

4. What a much better world it would be if everyone was as real as me.

5. God give me strength.

6. Hmmm I think I'm a racist, since I can count on one hand the number of white people I like.

7. Some of these college chillrun need their butts beat!

6 Things I Do Before You Go To Sleep

1. Oil my hair.

2. Brush my teeth.

3. Listen to music.

4. Go on Facebook.

5. Talk to my Mom.

6. Put a bandu on my hair.

5 People I Couldn't Live Without

1. My Mom!

2. My Siblings

3. My Aunts

4. My nieces/nephews

5. God

4 Things I'm Wearing Right Now

1. Multi-colored bandu

2. Obama shirt

3. Sweatpants

4.Headphones

3 Songs That Fit My Life Perfectly

1. "Woman Like Me" by Beyonce

2. "I Am Ready for Love" by India.Arie

3. "You Never Let Me Down" by Marvin Winans Jr.

2 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Visit Africa.

2. Live in a different country for at least two years.

1 Confession

Before I am 30 I want my whole left are full of tattoos that pertain to music.

From the depths of my heart

The temps say "Papa was a rolling stone, where ever he laid his hat was his home" but what if my Papa never stopped rolling long enough to make a home where we could become one and be one family unit. When Papa divorced Mama he also divorced us kids and now we have chosen to divorce you.

There is no need for lengthy court proceedings or Johnnie Cochran-esque lawyers because it's all a mutual agreement. You don't call me and I don't call you, now every body's happy (well at least I am). Since I refuse to do things I don't want to do:

No I didn't show up to your wedding to a lady who I was never properly introduced to because I didn't like the bride or the groom.

No I will not speak to you when you call, Mama taught me not to speak to strangers.

No I can't see myself respecting what you say because my Mom and Dad are embodied in one person, you're just extra.

I'm not sure why you don't understand where this is coming from. You brought this on yourself!

Yes I am pissed when I didn't get a call on my birthday but instead an annually late card.

Yup I am confused at how you and my Mom were married but I still feel like I was raised in a single-parent home.

Of course I am enraged that you sat back in your weak state and allowed my mother to raise us to the best of her ability and then you want to criticize how we were brought up.

Don't mistake my passion for hate. I would actually have to acknowledge your existence to hate you. I don't so I don't...from the depths of my heart.

*disclaimer* My father and I recently reconciled, but this was on my heart and can now be released in love*

My Ode to Chocolate Brothers (A Calandra Original)

I have seen a surplus of fine chocolate brothas lately so I had to drop a few lines to express my appreciation. India sings it best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_4ynkfLg5o (please open in a new tab)

There is something about chocolate skinned brothers that attracts me to no end. Whether they have no hair, dreds, or a high top fade, seeing their smooth skin is the highlight of my day. Their skin reminds me of slightly melted Hershey's chocolate smooth with a little bit of gloss. Lawd Jesus don't let them have pearly whites to match. The white color of their teeth contrasted against that skin, constantly sends my whole world in a spin. I can only imagine chocolate colored Kings and Princes in the Motherland, commanding tribes with a spear in hand. I think I have seen the light, but ironically it is dark. If they say light skin is in then I want to be out, because without a doubt dark-skinned brothers are the finest people out. This is my dedicated ode to chocolate brothers all around the globe.

Evolving

As I poured over the happenings of my week I focused on one word : change. Vibe to this as you read my thoughts:
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZMv5JN-xq0 (open in a new window please)

Do you know how to measure a change? It's when you can recognize yourself responding to issues/problems in a completely different way. I have been praying for change for a long time but I personally did not see it. I didn't see it because I was not being tested in it. Recently, I received a text from someone I had a falling out with and hadn't spoken to in months. The text was dripping with immaturity and sarcasm. I could have responded to it in an equally immature way and stooped to their level but something in me just said "let it go". OMG(oodness)!!! I cannot believe that I didn't respond. Insert *change* here.

It's such a wonderful feeling to acknowledge and embrace change. No longer am I stuck in the past with my insecurities or hurts holding me back. Change is something that most people run away from. Everyone gets comfortable in their stagnant positions and are annoyed when something comes to rock the boat. If people were more open to the fact of change , then when it comes it wouldn't be such a shocker. Liberation is key and I desire greatly to be liberated from complacent people who are doing nothing with their lives. Like a caterpillar that has just transformed into a butterfly; I am breaking out of my cocoon and allowing God to truly change me.

3 things that I embrace openly: 1) Everything happens for a reason. *If it's bad I try and learn from it*. 2) Some relationships are not meant to last forever. *You don't really see how bad a relationship,be it friendship or intimate, is until you remove yourself from it.* (last but definitely not least) 3) Change is GREAT. *Change has opened up so many new doors and opportunities for me it's unbelievable.* That's all for now...

My Ode To Books...

I just finished reading Alice Walker's The Color Purple and a thought popped into my head: books allow me to escape into a world that is all my own.

Natasha Bedingfield embodied what I was thinking:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2XcqKaXDIY (open in a new tab)

I have to thank my parents for encouraging me to read outside of my mandatory school books. I'm saddened by the lack of reading that I see (or don't see for that matter) in the younger generation. I love books so much just for the simple fact that they allow me to leave my present situation and go somewhere else (even if only for a short time). Every time I read a book it seems like a movie screen drops in front of my eyes and I can see the book being played out. How well I can see the movie is how I judge how well an author writes.

Zora Neal Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God is my favorite book of all time because I felt like I was everywhere the characters were. I cried when they cried, was scared when they were, and shared in their joyous moments like they actually happened to me. J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series are some of my favorite books also because she thrusts the reader deeper into the plot with each sentence. J.K allows us (the reader) to experience every spell, potion, and adventurous trip she makes the characters go through.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not one to ever run from a fight or confrontation (my family, friends, and non-friends *enemies is such an ugly word* can attest to that) but sometimes I just want to be somewhere only I know about. Books are like a mental tree house that I can climb into and just chill. Nothing bothers me when I am reading, books blanket the world and bring me peace. So you could call this my thank you letter to books. Books (if you're listening...lol) thank you so much for helping me to leave any drama, sorrow, or boring classes (yes I do read in the middle of lectures) temporarily and receiving me into your world with open arms. I know our relationship will be for eternity.That's all for now...